The Quiet Choices That Shape Us

This year, I will listen, I will learn, I will labour, and I will love.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;…
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:1–2, 4)

Life moves in seasons—beginnings and endings, joy and sorrow, growth and rest. With each season come choices that shape who we are and who we’re becoming.

The new year invites us to reflect, set goals, and imagine fresh starts. But reaching these goals requires small, deliberate choices made every single day. And it’s the power of these choices that I’ve been reflecting on recently after reading President Thomas S. Monson’s devotional, “The Time to Choose.”

The Power of Small Choices

Is it the choice to be baptised that defines our faith?

Or is faith found in the quiet, everyday pursuit of discipleship—the way we act when no one is watching, the way we treat others, the compassion we show to strangers, or the kindness we extend to the seemingly lesser?

Is it the grand declarations of love that define a relationship?

Or is love the quiet choice to stay and keep trying to understand each other when things get messy, when confusion looms, and when walking away feels easier?

President Monson’s talk reminds us that life isn’t about one grand, defining moment. It’s about the small, deliberate decisions we make every day. Those are the choices that determine our destiny.

We often imagine choices as dramatic, life-changing epiphanies. But the decisions that truly shape us happen quietly in the mundane routines of the every day, guided by old patterns and ingrained habits.

Do I choose kindness when I’m completely frustrated, and at the end of my tether?

Do I choose faith when doubt overwhelms me, and I feel completely alone and abandoned?

Do I choose to nurture relationships when it’s so much easier to just cut them off, and focus on myself?

These small, quiet decisions determine who we are and who we’re becoming. “Decisions determine destiny” isn’t just a platitude—it’s a challenge.

In the talk, President Monson shared his own framework for his new year’s goals; four simple yet profound commitments to anchor our choices:

I will listen. I will learn. I will labour. I will love.

I’ve been pondering these declarations over the past few days and I think they’re a beautiful roadmap for a meaningful life; a life where our choices and actions align with our values, and our goals, and aspirations.

The Choice to Listen

We live in a world obsessed with having the last word. But true listening—whether to God, to a loved one, or even to ourselves—requires a quieter kind of courage. It asks us to step outside the echo chamber of our own minds and truly open ourselves to the other.

I’m guilty of planning my responses while the other person is still speaking. Are we truly listening, or like me, just waiting for our turn to talk?

Listening is more than hearing—it’s an act of reverence. It means letting go of the need to be right and opening our hearts to understand.

To listen is to create space, so that the other may fill us with their truth. It’s a choice that invites the still, small voice of the Spirit within.

What might we hear if we truly listened with our hearts as well as our ears?

What could change if we sought to understand rather than to reply?

The Choice to Learn

We live in a world that celebrates certainty. But learning demands humility and vulnerability.

It means admitting we don’t know the answers, and still have work to do. True learning requires courage. It asks us to confront our blind spots, and embrace discomfort.

Too often, I react defensively in emotional conversations; protecting my ego instead of opening my heart to learn. Admitting I was wrong felt too uncomfortable. But growth isn’t easy, and what we learn about ourselves isn’t always easy to accept. Discipleship is a lifelong education, and every mistake, every struggle, every doubt carries a lesson.

But only if we’re willing to see it.

The Choice to Labour

The choice to labour is the disciplined pursuit of our goals. It’s putting in the work, even when it’s hard. It’s shoveling the proverbial shit even when we don’t feel like it—not glamorous, but absolutely necessary.

There are days when I don’t want to go to the gym, but I know I must. The choice to labour is not about motivation; it’s about commitment. It’s about showing up when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable.

“The battle for our souls is fought daily” is a challenge to take action. Whether it’s the fight to pursue discipleship, to stay committed to our goals, or to simply keep going when life feels overwhelming. It’s in the small choices—the decision to get out of bed, to make that call, to choose understanding over contention—that our destiny is shaped.

Putting in the work isn’t easy, but it will shape you. Every act of effort slowly chips away at complacency and builds strength—physical, emotional, and spiritual.

It’s not just about what we do or why we’re doing it; it’s about who we’re becoming in the process. It’s the quiet, relentless work of becoming the person God knows we can be.

The Choice to Love

But it is love that will ultimately transform us.

Love is the most beautiful choice we can make. And the hardest. It asks more of us than we often want to give. It demands vulnerability. It means opening our hearts, even when there’s a risk we’ll be hurt.

We romanticise love as effortless, but real love takes work. It means going beyond the flashy Instagram-worthy moments. It’s showing up on the hard days: when tempers flare and patience runs thin, and when the easier choice is to turn away instead of leaning in.

Love asks us to forgive when anger demands vengeance, to set aside pride, and to extend understanding, even when it feels undeserved.

At its core, love is the heart of discipleship. To love as Christ loved requires courage—to give more than we thought possible, and see others as God sees them.

Love isn’t passive. It’s a daily choice. A choice to forgive, to serve, to nurture, and to grow. It’s not just something we feel—it’s something we do.

And as much as love asks of us, it gives us back even more.

Love will transform us.

So ask yourself, what might change if you chose love today, not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s hard?

What Will You Choose?

We cannot choose our circumstances, nor can we choose our consequences. But we can always choose our actions. Even when life feels overwhelming or unfair, even when we’re grappling with the consequences of past choices, we still have the power to choose our response. And those choices—even the small, quiet ones—determine our destiny.

Discipleship is a fight. A fight to listen, to learn, to labour, and to love.

Whatever your goals are—whether they’re spiritual, physical, or material—choosing them is only the beginning. Discipline is what turns a decision into a destiny. And discipline is hard. It’s waking up every day and making the choice again and again.

This year, I choose courage in the face of uncertainty, kindness in frustration, and faith in doubt. I choose to listen, learn, labour, and love—not just for what I want to achieve, but for who I want to become.

Neither success nor salvation is guaranteed. Both demand effort, sacrifice, and perseverance—and a generous dollop of grace and luck.

So, ask yourself…

Are you ready to fight for the life you want? For the person you’re meant to be?